The Golden age Of George
by Chilibob
Summary: George finaly gets his own story. This is the ultimate George experience with some Jon squashed in there too.
1. Prologue

**The Golden Age Of George**

A prologue of sorts

This story will be written about one thing and one thing only, George. George in all his Georgy glory. This is the most official piece of literature completely based on George ever so you can expect it to be very official, which makes sense because things that are the most official of their kind are usually know to be fairly official.

Instead of having chapters I will have episodes in case I ever decide to make a TV show based on this very official story. I will try to limit the randomness but random is what I do best so that may not end well.

Anyways, enjoy...

.:Chilibob:.


	2. Episode One

**_Episode One_**

**the one where George and Jon are very stupid indeed**

George lived in a shack on the edge of a palace in the depressing Tortall region. Actually until that week he had lived _in_ a palace in the depressing Tortall region. Unfortunately a fight with the king had resulted in him being expelled from the premises. Actually the king had also been expelled from the premises, which makes no sense whatsoever but sense as not something that was usually allowed to run rampant in Tortall. So George and king Jon were living together in the shack and on the day on which our histoire (that means story in French) begins they were also fighting in the shack. They were fighting over who got to go to the palace to steal some food.

"I'm going because every time you go you eat everything before you get back!" screamed George.

"Oh yeah? Well every time you go, you forget why you're there and come back with a herd of sheep thinking that we wanted to make sweaters!" screamed Jon.

"At least I don't look like a sheep!' screamed George right back causing Jon to gasp like a gasping mammal.

"At least I don't look like a WALRUS!" screamed Jon.

In case you didn't realize already, George and Jon were not very good friends. In fact over the years they had grown to hate each other with an extreme amount of hate. The problem was their personalities where almost the exact same and neither of them liked themselves very much either. Anyways they did not have much time to yell and argue because a pack of blacksmiths burst though the windows and kidnapped them. The shack had a wide amount of window to burst through because it was completely made out of window. Jon and George were knocked out and shoved into a bathroom at the very back of a carriage. It took a very long time to put them in the very back of the carriage and as you read on you will see why. As soon as they were settled in the back the blacksmiths drove the carriage away. Back in those days carriages were a must-have for kidnappers...and cats.

A few unconscious hours later George regained consciousness. He found that he was in a very large carriage. And very large is an understatement. This carriage was big enough to hold millions of rooms. And hold millions of rooms it did. In that one carriage there were living rooms, bedrooms, kitchens, dining rooms, saunas, bathrooms, closets, rooms that had more than one room combined (usually sauna and bathrooms) evil rooms, good rooms, rooms with cats, rooms with walruses, rooms with sheep, rooms with Willy Nelson, cold rooms, hot rooms, rooms that have no point whatsoever except to smell bad, and many many more. Now I suppose you understand why it is not a good thing to have George in a carriage like this one. If you do not then what happens next should explain.

George discovered he really needed to use a bathroom. He forgot about panicking about being kidnapped, he forgot about saving Jon who was drowning in a bathtub and most importantly he forgot that he was already in a bathroom. All he could think of was finding a bathroom. So he left the safeness of _this_ bathroom and went to find _another_ bathroom. That ended in him getting hopelessly lost. Sometimes George was very unintelligent, but no matter how unintelligent George got he was never as stupid as the guy in the bathtub as you will soon see.

Approximately five minutes after George left on his quest for cleanliness (doesn't that sound fancy?) Jon woke up and discovered he could not breath air. He could in fact breathe water but not air. Actually he couldn't breathe water either which is why he was drowning. He flung himself out of the tub and breathed like crazy so he wouldn't die. And here comes the stupid part...He breathed so crazily he fell out the window.

Let's just end this episode here so we can all take in Jon's stupidness.

* * *

I am very disapointed in this chapter but I was hurrying as to not leave people unhappy. The rest of this story will be better and I will have more dialogue since I live for dialogue. 


	3. Episode Three

_**Episode TWO**_

**the one where George isn't there**

Jon accidentally woke up a few minutes later after falling out a window and becoming unconscious. It was an accidental "wake up" because he actually really did not want to wake up at all. He had been having a lovely dream about a cabbage patch eating his left liver. Unfortunately it is very hard to sleep and dream when there is a giant fortuneteller hitting you with a bagpipe.

"HONK!' was the noise the bagpipe made as it smacked Jon square in the thumb.

"Why are you honking my thumb with a bagpipe?" asked Jon when he decided he should ask the fortune teller why he was hitting him with a bagpipe.

"It's all in the cards my dear undergrowth." said the fortuneteller as if what he was saying made sense.

"My thumb is in the cards?" asked Jon.

"No, no. Don't be absurd, my little case-of-antifreeze-filled-thermometers. Your thumb is right here, beneath my bagpipe." The fortuneteller said, pointing to the thumb with his remaining hand. And sure enough, there it was. Right there beneath the bagpipe

"Goodness gracious! Is that MY thumb?" asked Jon at that point in our story "I always thought that was Neal's thumb."

"Well I guess it's true what they say."We gain knowledge of thumbs every day"' quoted the giant.

"I suppose that is accurate." said Jon nodding in absolute satisfaction. "And also it must have been no lie when my old teachers used to tell me "If a giant fortune teller hits you with a bagpipe, he's bound to call you an undergrowth."'

"Ah, yes. That is the first thing they teach us at fortune telling school. They say, "If you call somebody undergrowth, make sure you strike them with a bagpipe first." commented the fortune teller.

"Yes, yes. That really does make sense. It's like my old pal George always says. He says, "If your desk is under a bomb, you probably shouldn't cover yourself in glue and pretend to be a snake dancing around a bomb."

"Oh yes. This "George" fellow must be quite the mouse-scented-blue-tinted-grape-flavored chimp." complimented the fortune teller.

"He really is." said Jon "I wonder what happened to him after I fell out the window. I guess I will never know"

"He'll flee in about ten minutes and begin heading in the wrong way and end up at a delightful walrus conference" said the psychic proving that he was a genuine fortuneteller and not just a massive gentleman with a bagpipe.

"I guess we should go meet him." suggested Jon

"I suppose-WAIT, why should I go with you to find your pocket-of-access-tree-rubber comrade?" asked the fortuneteller.

"Well, my dear giant-bagpipe-holding-fortuneteller. It's like what my beloved Wyldon likes to say "If a oversized fortuneteller walks through, tell him to get George out of my toilet, he's drinking all my starfish perfumed rhubarb." And I think this is about the same scenario, so you ought to come with me." explained Jon.

"I believe I could. I mean my mother did used to tell me "Get you trousers out of that solid fruit holder or I'll-"

"Let's not quote anymore" suggested Jon.

"Okay" decided the fortuneteller and they were on their way.


End file.
